Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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