:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
