I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
