The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
