I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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