We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
