I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
