Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
