what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You are the jesus of drinking
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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