I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
