So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize