I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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