Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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