yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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