At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
