TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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