I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
her vagine was all disorganized.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
