Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
