i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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