Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i came on her dog
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
