One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
