Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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