I'm jealous of your bromance
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
