is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
