apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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