Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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