it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
