You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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