How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
