Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
