Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
