I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize