Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
