Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize