Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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