I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
