Got a toothbrush?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I want to be your penis for a week.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
