We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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