What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
