it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
