I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
