you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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