I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize