Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
