This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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