you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
