I love black thongs
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
