btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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