She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
