it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
