How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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