He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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