He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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