i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
