He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
