i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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