return my video game
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
