Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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