I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
