im holly from the hills drunk
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
