Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
