I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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