Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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