hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
