...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
