so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize