you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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