why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
