She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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