We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
