So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My penis needs a shock collar
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
