escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Are my feet made of real feet?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
