i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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