She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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