I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Boobs speak an international language.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
This is my life. Enjoy the view
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
