I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My hand turned me down
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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