Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
