Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
