I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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